50k the NaNoWriMo way!

I did it. I made it. I have arrived. 50 000 words later and I have hit that euphoria and relief that is always there, regardless of how many times you 'win' - this would be my fourth in the seven times I've done nano.

I'm not done yet. My story isn't done and I'm now hitting on some of the big points in the story that took all willpower I had NOT to start writing right then and there. So no. I'm not going to stop just yet. I won't be hitting my 100k. Life has just been awful in throwing obstacles at me. I'm just glad to have 'finished'.

My story did some weird and wonderful things so far. As is known, I have been planning my fanfic from June/July. I've spent hours making notes and working through scenarios and deciding where I want characters to go and what I want them to do and how I want them to develop. One would think that, given the preparation that has gone into the story, things would have followed as it was set out step by grudging step. You'd be wrong though. While the sections to the story stayed the same, characters got added, characters died, relationships got forged and torn apart... it's been crazy.

A friend told me recently that you find the soul of characters in the moments they go beyond your planning. Some of my characters have a LOT of soul and they were all too happy to share it.

I've had to write scenes that I never thought I would. Ones that made me laugh, cry, feel sick to my stomach,  and shiver with anxiety. And in it all, I've learnt. And that's what is the most amazing thing about writing. You learn. You see things differently. You gain insights. You grow.

I want to finish this story. And I want to post it at some point. I'd have to rework quite a bit of it. Add scenes, remove scenes, tone down scenes (especially the creeeeeeeeepiest, most awkward one I've ever written) and finally really sit and figure out whether I am going to be posting it or not). But that's for later. For now, there are six days of nanowrimo left. The pressure to finish the race is off. Now it's to see where this story takes me.