TTRPG Babble: Ten years since the commitment

 

I'm one of those strange people who don't like commitments or promises. Why? Because I make it a point of honour to keep them. And it's also why I hate when people idly make promises to me, but that's a rant for somewhere else.

It's now been ten years since the somewhat life-changing commitment I made to a friend. What was that commitment? Well, that I will run a D&D campaign. 

This email marked the lightning-bolt idea that I had for a homebrew game. Copious notes were made, thoughts were scribbled and an email play-by-post was attempted in that same year - though that failed. It would only be five years later that an actual online game would be launched.

In May 2021, I created a Discord server for online D&D. My thought at that point was that the homebrew game, my first 'original' game, was probably only going to last six sessions before it would flounder (yes, I was that optimistic about the game). So I called it "TNO and other short RPGs". 

The 6 planned sessions turned into 59 actual ones running from 2021 to 2025. In conjunction with my 'main' South African game, I would end up running a number of iterations that didn't last long - mostly dying due to player conflict and misplaced expectations. In 2024, I started a North American iteration of the game which aims to play once or twice a month depending on schedules. That's now at 35 sessions.

None of the above is bragging btw, I share it because of the overwhelming stunned shock I still experience when I try to wrap my brain around the thought that I had believed this game would last 6 sessions with one group - whereas now, if I counted all the sessions I've had with people in my homebrew world, that would exceed 100. That's.... staggering.

Presently, I'm running two games in the world - the North American one mentioned above and a South African reboot which is going to its fourth session this Friday. 

Where am I planning on taking it? Well the ultimate dream would be to write up the campaign in some kind of book form. There are a number of challenges with that. One, I'm Afrikaans. Two, I'm lazy. Three, I have ADHD and get distracted super easily. But then there's also the challenge of how to make it system neutral so as not to get sued left, right, and centre. I haven't figured that out yet, but I'm pondering the thought. 

Know your weaknesses - TTRPG babble

 I recently shared this with a friend and thought it is worth mentioning here as well.

As a GM, I have one big weakness that's very difficult to overcome: 

I am kind.

In the GM seat you sometimes have to take the role of adversary - the monsters are trying to capture/maim/kill the heroes and they're not going to pull their punches. Now, I am fortunate that my dice rolls are rarely deadly, but when they are, I sit with a real emotional conundrum of wanting my player characters to overcome whatever obstacle I've thrown at them. 

Last year, I did a Pugmire oneshot with friends - veteran and newbie players. The game was okay, there were a few mechanical snags that I hadn't foreseen and didn't know how to amend on the fly, but the biggest truthful critique I received from the encounter was "You're too kind."

I'm not competitive, and I think that also is the reason why my encounters are rarely deadly. It's difficult for me to think to 'win' even if for only the brief moment where I'm thinking like the villain.

Knowing your weaknesses is just as important as knowing your strengths. Because there's no way that you're going to balance and improve if you're not aware on what you should be working on.

So how does one stop being a kind GM? I have no friggen clue, but I am practicing by trying to distance myself emotionally from the fights my villains inevitably have against my players' characters. And it is something I feel like I should be working on. Not because I want to be a mean, old hag who makes players miserable, but because I had a few combat encounters where players were genuinely worried and triumphed and were beautifully rewarded for the tense encounter. That's something I'd like to see more of. But I don't believe in a GM bringing in Deus Ex Machina when things go poorly... it's either a win or a wash and that is always going to be a gamble.

 

Babble: GMing with Anxiety

 This post is probably not going to have a point and will be all over the place, but hopefully I will succeed in sticking, generally, to the title of it.

I struggle quite a bit with anxiety. Being among people sets it off, being alone sets it off, prepping for TTRPG games sets it off, not prepping for games sets it off. There are a multitude of triggers and most of the time I don't know why I am reaching for my anti-anxiety meds. 

Doing conventions and in-person games are thus particularly challenging for me because there you are under scrutiny and there's an expectation and performance anxiety and all that jazz. I find that running games online is my sweet spot because, while I still am in front of people, I'm not physically being under scrutiny and I can tell my brain to calm down. It doesn't mean I don't have anxiety when I run games, but it lessens the blow somewhat.

I wish I could say, after 10 years of GMing in some kind of capacity, the anxiety has waned, but I would be lying. Because in some ways, while related to the activity, anxiety is also its own beast that will take any opportunity to rear its head and take a bite out of you.

So what is this post about then if not a 'It gets better'?

In a sense it is that. A lot of people fear the GM's chair and wait until they are less afraid. The truth is that the victory is in fighting through the fear. The feeling doesn't get better, but you do. You become more competent at handling it.

I read a Joe Abercrombie book many, many years ago. And I can't find the quote so that's a sure sign that my brain has butchered it and stitched it together to make a different kind of sense. Essentially the concept was that courage was like a whetstone: with use and time, it becomes smaller. Meaning the older you become, the less geared you are towards doing daunting things. As someone who lives with anxiety, I certainly see the truth of that. Now, in my forties, I'm even more skittish than I was before.

I guess, in a sense, the ultimate message of this post is this: Don't wait to feel braver. Don't wait to feel more assured. Don't wait. 

You might feel braver and more assured - you're not me with my anxiety. You might find it in you to jump into the GMing seat after a pause. But you might never feel that assurance. And if you wait for that before you do anything, you're going to miss out on a very enriching experience.

Gaming Babble to note that I'm alive!

The first post for 2026 was not supposed to be coming out nearing the end of February, but here we are.

So this babble is probably going to be all over the place, but I am scatterbrained so it's fine.

What have I been playing on PC?

Aska

It is still in early access and definitely isn't a 'complete' game, but I really dig this game. I usually end up playing like an hour of it every two or three days and that consistency has meant that I've racked up quite a few hours of play time. People could argue that it is still very empty and I'd agree... that just means that there's more coming and honestly, I'm excited for it.

Foundation

I bought Foundation when it was still in early access and kinda forgot about it as they worked on their updates. It released it's 1.0 version in January last year and I decided to give it a go when a recent notification for update came up. I'm enjoying it. You have to think about how you want to build your town a little differently than one would in a game like Settlers and Banished. I play it when I want to relax and listen to music... which admittedly is quite frequently. I should be doing other things - more on that later.

StarRupture

Another early access game, this time by Creepy Jar - the makers of Green Hell which I've babbled about before. It feels like it took inspiration from Satisfactory as it is a factory-building and exploration game with a few other things that keep you on your toes. It's still early days and there are a lot of fixing that needs to happen to run the game smoothly, but it's going to be a fun one. The humour is there and the factory building aspect is fun. I always look forward to returning to my spaghetti-bowl base...

Battlefield 6

This is probably the game few people would imagine I'd play. I used to play the old single-player Call of Duty games and I didn't like the newer iterations and multiplayer. This is the first of the Battlefield franchise that I've played and there are elements that just spark a similar happy feeling. I'm not good at the game. My highest score is always how many times I've died. I don't know one scope from another or anything about gun stats, but that's not why I play the game. Sometimes it's just fun running and shooting the shit out of people while cackling a little crazily. This is my go-to game for that currently.

Don't Starve Together

After a very long break, I've restarted playing DST and playing it with friends even! It's still a brutally difficult game for me, but I love the art style, I love the humour, I love the characters and the challenge. And even though I die frequently, I find the game mostly relaxing. I have babbled about Don't Starve in the past, but basically it is a survival game where darkness means death and starvation is always around the corner. The beautifully twisted Tim Burton-esque art style keeps you entertained while you learn how to survive the different seasons, the different biomes, and the critters you encounter.

I've had this game for years, I've been playing it for years, I have yet to survive a game 'year'. I think my record was 48 days or something.... haha!

It is the game I turn to when I'm in the mood for a challenge with amusement laced in between. 

Satisfactory 

Satisfactory is a factory-building and exploration game that I've babbled about before. I've dumped so many hours into this game from early access to official release and it's almost always installed on my computer. My current playthrough is promising. I might just complete the game this time... but it's slow going. The problem is that it's about automation a lot of the time and while I understand that notion, I find it very difficult for my brain to really plan things in a way that makes it possible. So instead of being outside of the spaghetti conveyor belts and machines, my pioneer is one with the spaghetti, feeding into machines and making sure that everything works... well... reasonably.

That's a lot of gaming... what else am I up to?

Well, predictably, I've been running D&D and ToV (Tales of the Valiant) games. 

Oh! I'm so happy Level Up Store has begun stocking Tales of the Valiant books! As far as I know this is the first and only place where you can get these books in South Africa.

I currently have two dedicated campaigns that I'm running:

• My TNO homebrew for the North American crew is going really well. It's a big group of people, which can be a bit daunting as I've never had as big of a crew at one gaming 'table' but I love the stories that are coming from their characters.
• The Dragon Heist game that I started last year is still running. We're about a third into the game with the extra padding provided by the Alexandrian Remix. We've had a lot of player shuffling which does bring a challenge because now half of the people playing weren't there when the foundation for the intrigue-heavy game was laid, but we're navigating that alright. Fortunately I know the game so well after having run it so many times that it's not so much of a challenge to prep for it.

Along with running two dedicated campaigns, I also run oneshots of different games. I would like to do that more for systems like Tales of the Valiant, and Fantasy Age. But one thing at a time.... or a few (other) things at a time. haha.

Okay, that's a LOT of gaming.

Yes, I know. My plate is full up again. In among the games, I do life things - mostly consisting of work and sleep... haha. 

TTRPG Babble: Stats!

I see that I always share my stats around October every year, so I figured better late than never.

This year was a little weird prep-wise. Usually there's a clear month-active / month-inactive that goes on where as I had four somewhat busy months this year and there rest were middling. It made sense though. March I was still under the impression that I was going to do the October convention (which didn't pan out) and I worked my ass off getting things ready. August was the GeeksxGamers event. September was spent making maps for my homebrew - and they're some nice maps but I can't share them (yet?). And end November was the next GeeksxGamers event.

Oddly though, while this year wasn't terrible in terms of possible burnout, I clocked the most hours prepped of the three years since I've been logging them. It makes sense though, I have had a lot of games and randomness going on this year.

Recap of the year's TTRPGS campaigns ran by me.

• I finished off "Phandelver" - deciding not to continue further with the "and Below" part.
• After 59 sessions, I've put my homebrew with the South Africans on permanent hiatus. Considering we started the game in 2021, I am quite pleased with how far it went.
• The last session for my homebrew for the North Americans this year will be session 29. It's still going surprisingly well even if we can sometimes only play once a month.
• I started running "Waterdeep: Dragon Heist" with some South Africans. Scheduling has been a challenge but I'm about to drop a bomb on them so I'm quite excited to see what happens. we have possibly one or two sessions left this year.

GeeksxGamers is doing it again!

So in August, GeeksxGamers had their maiden voyage into the world of conventions. On 29 November, they're setting sail again in partnership with Valhalla Gaming to run an event dedicated to gaming. 

Girls in Gaming is going to be an event filled with eSports, TTRPGs, Board Games, War Games, and other games, quizzes and cosplay.

This event, giving the nod to females in gaming, isn't reserved for them alone. It is more an acknowledgement that in a perceived male-dominated setting, women are active and willing to game as well. It is a celebration of diversity.

My part in this event is, of course, on the TTRPG side. I have games prepped for D&D 5e 2014, Realms of Pugmire, and Fantasy AGE. My fellow GMs are primarily focused on D&D, so it's not all weird new things we're doing on that front.

The GM workshop - Big Reveal

In my previous post, I talked about wanting to do something about the GM shortage that we have. And... I did a thing.

THE THING

In short, I'm running a six-session series on the absolute basics of GMing - specifically focusing on the more adminny, less creative aspect. Not all Game Masters are going to run their first, second, or even tenth game as a homebrew and there are some considerations that all of them would benefit to spend some time on. So that's what I'm going to try and facilitate.

The format is simple. Each session, I'll yammer for a maximum of 20 minutes on the subject I had prepared (with SLIDES! Oh! And HAND OUTS!). Then I'll open it up for discussion, questions, etc. until people are exhausted or two hours have passed.

Time zones being what they are, the current series will probably be easier for Africa, Europe and UK peeps to join, but if it works out, I might try to find a more friendly time for the Americas as well.

I'm very excited, a little nervous, but mostly determined to help do my part.

Let's see how this goes.

TTRPG Ramble: Past and present

This post is a mix of what I've been up to, what I'm actively working on, and future plans. 

First, what I won't be doing. In April, I blogged about the TTRPG thing at Con.ect. That has unfortunately fallen through. I'm sad about it but it is what it is.

Anyway, rather than ruminating too much about that, I'll instead babble about other TTRPG things:

I've been running a Phandelver game that's now heading towards a close. I was planning on doing the "and Below" part but there was a general sense of exhaustion coming from the group. They love their characters, but I didn't know whether this campaign would've been a good one for them.

And I have a Dragon Heist game going that is starting the second chapter of the book. It's been amusing so far. I haven't run DH in a while and need to reacquaint myself with all the strings of the various puppets and plots. The group is relaxed, so I don't think we're going to burn through the material quickly.

My South African homebrew game lasted 59 sessions before I called an indefinite break to it. But the story hasn't died in my mind. I'm still consistently making notes for it. Not only for the North American group that's currently working through the material, but for future possible scenarios.

Speaking of the North American group, we're 25 sessions in. It's been interesting leading them through because of the different focus' that they have towards aspects of the world. It makes me very appreciative of the groups I've had gone through it past and present because they have made me work harder on this idea of mine. 

I'm toying with the idea of running more games... I do have a few concerns about over extending myself though. Life has been pretty stressful and I don't know if adding more on my plate would be the best course of action.

I think I just need a holiday. That would be nice. I should maybe think of taking a couple of days off somewhere soon.

So that's what I've done and what I've been up to. What I'm planning on doing in future has to do with my whine a year ago about the lack of GMs. I figure one has to be the change one wants to see or some such. So I'm doing something that will hopefully yield something good. We'll see.

GeeksxGamers convention: Game, game, drop, take an energy drink, up you go

One Sunday, something strange happened to me. I got a phone call. I stared at the phone, looking at it as if it were a bomb and realised I should probably answer...

And in a way it was a bomb. A good bomb. There is going to be a convention in Gqeberha that's happening on 9 August 2025 at Walmer Town Hall. It's going to involve people being able to play D&D (2014), a selection of over 50 boardgames, and Magic the Gathering. There's going to be a Warhammer exhibition, two cosplay competitions and two Klask competitions.

It sounds super exciting to have this in the city and, having met the organisers, I can say that they're as excited and enthusiastic about the opportunity this will bring as I am.

How is the day going to work?

The convention is divided into two time-segments - day and night - and each of them has their own entrance fee of R300 or if you're planning on staying there from 9am to 11pm the cost is R500.

EDIT: Following the feedback received from the community, the convention slashed their prices. And is now charging half of the original cost! Thus R150 per session and R250 for the whole day.

There's been some critique about the cost being steep. My argument to that is that a stroll-through-stalls convention can cost you near R100, if not more. Attending a three-hour movie where you sit on your behind doing nothing but watching costs you R200. Here you have the opportunity to spend several hours playing games, learning some new once, interacting with people and having fun for R300. To me, it sounds like money well spent.

If that doesn't sell you, think on this. There are oneshot D&D tables that cost $25 per person per session for 2.5 to 3 hours. Being able to access several games that exceed that time for cheaper than that is a big deal.

EDIT: Following the feedback received from the community, the convention slashed their prices. And is now charging half of the original cost!

So what will I be doing?

I've been approached to be one of the 40 volunteers who will help make those brave souls who venture through the doors feel welcome... I will sit them down, smile, and then try to kill them in D&D.😈 There are going to be around six tables dedicated to running D&D for curious folk or seasoned veterans with party levels of 3rd, 5th, and 8th respectively. I've been asked to try and pack as many games into the day as I can... which will probably mean three or four sessions of around three hours each. 

That is a new kind of challenge for me, but I'm excited to take it on. And I won't be the only DM there. So what I'm saying is that the TTRPG tables will be rocking.

Boardgames

I'm not big on boardgames so I can't say much about it except that there will be a LOT on offer to play. There are also volunteers that will be taking care of players and helping them out. I've heard the selection will be beginner friendly but that there's some fun ones in the mix. Out of 50 games, I can't imagine that a person won't find one game they'd enjoy.

The ultimate problem for introverts tends to be finding the people who'll play those games with you and here is where the beauty of a convention catering for activities comes in. You can't throw stones at not finding people if you're not there to join with those who resonate at the same frequency. 

Magic the Gathering and Klask

I'll be honest, I don't know anything about either of these games but they'll also be at the convention and so should earn mention. There's more information on the convention's website about both.

Warhammer exhibition

Representatives of the city's wargaming enthusiasts are going to come show their awesome miniatures. They'll have a section specifically dedicated to Warhammer and will be there to interact with anyone interested in getting into the addiction.

Cosplay competition

There will be two cosplay competitions for each time segment of the convention. Pre-prep and communication before the convention is essential for those who're interested in taking part of it. More details on their website.

A last thing...

So I'm very excited about this convention, like I've said above, and I think it's worth supporting. To that end, I would ask that you spread the word if you're in the area or come join if you're curious. From the D&D side I can tell you that newbies are absolutely welcome at my table. And I know others feel the same. 

"But I don't have a character!" - That can be supplied.

"But I don't have dice!" - Dice will be provided.

"But but but..." - No buts! Just butt there! 

See you soon 😁

Build up and pay off - When TTRPGs go right.

It's almost four days since it happened.

Since what happened, you ask?

Magic. Since magic happened.

In March 2024, I started a D&D homebrew campaign with the North American crew. Having run this adventure with the South Africans, I had some vague certainties as to what was going to happen down the line. So I began seeding things - gave one player's character random heartburn and weird dreams about the past.

Saturday night (technically Sunday morning for me), 19 sessions and more than a year later, I finally got to tell him why.

I was, as always, very nervous. I struggle with almost permanent anxiety and just having the reason for it being different. Needless to say, that was raging. I also have a large group of people whom I don't want to sideline for the big reveal, so I worked on ways to include them through recollection or questions. We also had a surprise new edition to the party that required me bringing them into the game in a way that still works for the story. Oh! And I only had two hours to do all of the things in.

A lot of things to juggle for my anxiety-crazed brain.

So I took away combat for this session. I mostly took away exploration. Instead, I focused in on the tier of play that I love the most and comes up the least in many campaigns. I let the people roleplay for two hours.

This group knows how to roleplay.

The player whose character had weird heartburn had such a look of shock when I finally revealed why there's a stabby-burn feeling in his chest. And the shock reverberated through all of them. There were slack jaw moments which I will cherish in my memory forever. It was such an amazing time. Amazing enough to vaguely write a post about it. ;-)

Story payoffs like this one doesn't come as frequently to me in a campaign. I will never be able to duplicate this even for the same group. But I'm challenged to try.