GeeksxGamers convention: Game, game, drop, take an energy drink, up you go

One Sunday, something strange happened to me. I got a phone call. I stared at the phone, looking at it as if it were a bomb and realised I should probably answer...

And in a way it was a bomb. A good bomb. There is going to be a convention in Gqeberha that's happening on 9 August 2025 at Walmer Town Hall. It's going to involve people being able to play D&D (2014), a selection of over 50 boardgames, and Magic the Gathering. There's going to be a Warhammer exhibition, two cosplay competitions and two Klask competitions.

It sounds super exciting to have this in the city and, having met the organisers, I can say that they're as excited and enthusiastic about the opportunity this will bring as I am.

How is the day going to work?

The convention is divided into two time-segments - day and night - and each of them has their own entrance fee of R300 or if you're planning on staying there from 9am to 11pm the cost is R500.

EDIT: Following the feedback received from the community, the convention slashed their prices. And is now charging half of the original cost! Thus R150 per session and R250 for the whole day.

There's been some critique about the cost being steep. My argument to that is that a stroll-through-stalls convention can cost you near R100, if not more. Attending a three-hour movie where you sit on your behind doing nothing but watching costs you R200. Here you have the opportunity to spend several hours playing games, learning some new once, interacting with people and having fun for R300. To me, it sounds like money well spent.

If that doesn't sell you, think on this. There are oneshot D&D tables that cost $25 per person per session for 2.5 to 3 hours. Being able to access several games that exceed that time for cheaper than that is a big deal.

EDIT: Following the feedback received from the community, the convention slashed their prices. And is now charging half of the original cost!

So what will I be doing?

I've been approached to be one of the 40 volunteers who will help make those brave souls who venture through the doors feel welcome... I will sit them down, smile, and then try to kill them in D&D.😈 There are going to be around six tables dedicated to running D&D for curious folk or seasoned veterans with party levels of 3rd, 5th, and 8th respectively. I've been asked to try and pack as many games into the day as I can... which will probably mean three or four sessions of around three hours each. 

That is a new kind of challenge for me, but I'm excited to take it on. And I won't be the only DM there. So what I'm saying is that the TTRPG tables will be rocking.

Boardgames

I'm not big on boardgames so I can't say much about it except that there will be a LOT on offer to play. There are also volunteers that will be taking care of players and helping them out. I've heard the selection will be beginner friendly but that there's some fun ones in the mix. Out of 50 games, I can't imagine that a person won't find one game they'd enjoy.

The ultimate problem for introverts tends to be finding the people who'll play those games with you and here is where the beauty of a convention catering for activities comes in. You can't throw stones at not finding people if you're not there to join with those who resonate at the same frequency. 

Magic the Gathering and Klask

I'll be honest, I don't know anything about either of these games but they'll also be at the convention and so should earn mention. There's more information on the convention's website about both.

Warhammer exhibition

Representatives of the city's wargaming enthusiasts are going to come show their awesome miniatures. They'll have a section specifically dedicated to Warhammer and will be there to interact with anyone interested in getting into the addiction.

Cosplay competition

There will be two cosplay competitions for each time segment of the convention. Pre-prep and communication before the convention is essential for those who're interested in taking part of it. More details on their website.

A last thing...

So I'm very excited about this convention, like I've said above, and I think it's worth supporting. To that end, I would ask that you spread the word if you're in the area or come join if you're curious. From the D&D side I can tell you that newbies are absolutely welcome at my table. And I know others feel the same. 

"But I don't have a character!" - That can be supplied.

"But I don't have dice!" - Dice will be provided.

"But but but..." - No buts! Just butt there! 

See you soon 😁

What's happening in the land of Ris?

 So it's been a while... I got more weary after my last post and have been vegetating a bit. However, things are also kinda busy in my world so I thought I'd give a general babble about what's happening in terms of hobbies and what's not.

TTRPGs

There's been a number of developments in terms of what I'm up to with regards to TTRPGs. 

• My longest running homebrew D&D game with the South Africans have come to a bit of a halt. We completed 59 sessions from 2021 until now and, while we've had some breaks, they haven't been sufficient. People are fatigued and I decided that it would be better to put the game on indefinite hiatus. This also gives me the opportunity to rest more (see below on what I'm up to to why this statement is funny).

• My homebrew game with the North Americans is going on session 18. What I find interesting is that I'm the one who wants to move the current thread along and they're like "no, we want to use the next session to talk about things that has happened so far". Which is awesome. I am not complaining.
  
  
• I'm planning on running two different oneshots at our local gaming convention in October - one for the Fantasy AGE system and the other for Tales of the Valiant. I have the "stories" basically formulating in my mind and spent a huge amount of time on creating character sheets... and I'm not done yet. I'm also practicing the oneshots on my friends and will be running the ToV one in May. Should be fun.
  
  A bit more on the idea we have. A group of us are essentially going to have two tables running games on both days of the convention. The games will only be two-and-a-half hours in length - thirty minutes to familiarise players with the system and each other and then two hours on the actual playing. We're going to be showing off games like Fantasy AGE, Tales of the Valiant, Daggerheart, Realms of Pugmire, and others. 
  
  
  
  
  
• I'm also running two games with the same group of people on Saturdays. We're playing a Phandelver and Below D&D campaign, but on days when not everyone can come, we mess around with Fantasy AGE trying to familiarise ourselves with it.

Computer Gaming

• I'm slowly, very very slowly, playing Mass Effect again. And by slowly, I mean 'I have gotten to the Citadel for the first time and haven't touched the game in like a week afterwards' kind of slowly. I constantly try not to be sucked in by how amazing the game was build and the world constructed. I try to remind myself how hurt I was and how painful the end is going to be. And then I see a cutscene and it's like "Oooohhh..... prettty!" I be dumbass, yes.
  
  
• I'm also losing time in Stranded: Alien Dawn which has recently been acquired by Paradox Interactive... it doesn't immediately bother me but I have to wonder how many million DLCs they'd be able to get out of a game like that. 
  
  
• Aska is also a game I play quite regularly. I know there's a lot of micromanaging that you need to do, but it's relaxing. It's got all the makings of a settlement builder and survival game all meshed up into one. It ticks all the boxes in my mind as something that I want to play without thinking too hard.
  
  
• And then finally there's Mechwarrior 5: Mercenaries. A game I shouldn't enjoy because I don't know anything about the stats and guns and whatnots. But somehow, even though I am terrible at the game, I find myself enjoying what I can do. I've had to restart several times in the campaign because I inevitably run out of money and working mechs, but it's still fun. I get the same enjoyment out of it that I got from Battletech and I miss just as badly. haha.

Writing

I've picked up writing again, albeit very very VERY slowly. I have a Mass Effect fanfic that I'm posting for the first time which actually came into existence over a decade ago. For any of you who followed Shattered Reality on FanFiction.com, the story I'm posting now is the one that inspired and is referred to in that one. You can read both without being spoiled by the other, so if you are interested in Mass Effect fanfics the Shattered Reality story was finished and is beefy. 

TV / Streaming

I don't really watch any shows all that much. I've never been big at watching series unless it's something that really catches my attention. I'm happy to see that The Last of Us is back with a second season. Having played the games and enjoying the story, I'm happy to see how they translate that into a different medium. I was a little worried that Bella Ramsey wasn't going to seem older in the second season, but so far I'm on board. 

Board Games / Card Games

I'm still playing Arkham Horror at least twice a month. We've worked through a number of campaigns and it's been a lot of fun. I've been asked to teach others how to play the game at a board-gaming event. So naturally I decided to pull my friends in because I am not keen on doing stuff like that alone, haha. That's happening on Sunday this weekend. (If you are in the area and interested, send me a message and I'll give you details or link you up with people that have the details).

In Conclusion...

So I'm not inactive. If anything, I'm quite busy and keep myself at that level a bit too much. That said, I'm enjoying myself thoroughly, so I can't complain about things that help my mental health and give me joy. 

Outside of the hobby world, things are a bit rough. At least I have things I can take shelter in.

Lack of Energy - The BBEG

 So February behaved a little better than January did. That has been a mercy as the pendulum finally seems to be changing direction and heading the other, hopefully better, way. But with the passage of time, it has become very apparent that a 'new' challenger has reared its head.

Lack of Energy: the BBEG.

I have so much I want to do. I have D&D games I'm running, solo-games I want to do, I'm working on rewriting an old fanfic (more on that in a possible later babble), I have game manuals and stories to read. But I only have so much energy left in the tank, and refilling that energy doesn't seem to be happening at a sufficient enough pace.

Which is why I stopped streaming. It's not that I don't like it, I do. I enjoy it quite a bit. It's just that it expends a lot of energy. Energy that I don't currently have on hand.

I don't think it's burnout. At least, not yet. But I do realise that I have to be cautious that it doesn't turn into that.

So what am I going to do about it? Well, I'm taking a week off of work in two weeks and I'm actually leaving the house two of those nights to stay in a little rondavel by the ocean. So some peace and quiet might help quite a bit.

Is two nights quiet enough? Probably not, but I'm also trying not to put as much pressure on myself to perform. After January's events, it's clear I took a knock and I'm slowly trying to rebalance.

It's slow going but this BBEG is not one I'm going to allow to win.

A brief update. Proof of life. And all that.

 I haven't posted in a while. Mostly because I've been kinda brain dumb and not really doing anything geeky or anything. But let me attempt an update.

December was an emotional trainsmash. - whoops! Wrong blog. Let's try that again.

I didn't do much in December. Played Satisfactory, Aska, and Dragon Age: Veilguard. (And before you ask: love the character and the issues "forced down the throats of gamers", so if you're one of those who took offense at that story aspect... kindly exit stage right).

I played D&D and prepped D&D and did a lot of things D&D.

I coloured in while watching The Last of Us season 1... which is kinda amusing. It's my third time watching so I didn't really have to concentrate too much, but you'd think it would but me while colouring. Instead I found it kinda relaxing. Go figure.

Uhm, what else? Oh! I got an amazing present from my best friend. So it comes with a bit of a story: In my homebrew, which I've babbled about a LOT, there is an NPC which is very near and dear to my heart and literally the first character the players interact with when the campaign starts. So my friend commissioned an artist to draw her and then she herself crocheted a stuffy using the same colours used by the artist.

For myself, I bought a bookshelf to store my D&D stuff on. Not the most awe-inspiring gift, I guess, but it made me happy.

I'm breaking my rule today...

... usually I confine this blog to being a geeky only blog but I feel passionate enough about this particular cause to go against my usual inclination.

This picture was taken March of 2019... and as content as I may seem in it, I was waiting to be admitted into a mental health facility.

I was having a really rough time. My circumstances had not changed in years but I had become tired of them. Soul tired. It got to the point where I chose to forego taking sleeping meds because I was too tempted to overdose. 

After some discussions with my mother, I contacted my psychiatrist and explained the problem. Clearly the medication I was on for my bipolar depression and situational depression wasn't being effective, but I had also just lost the will to combat the overwhelming exhaustion and despair that I was submerged in. He agreed that some time away would probably be the best and so we started the process of getting me admitted.

This brought a problem with work and social obligations. In both situations, my peers were completely unaware that it was a problem. I had one work colleague that knew I had some challenges, but didn't know I was in distress. I had colleagues who looked down on mental health issues as weakness, as not being strong enough, and of course the gossips who would just eat this up. Social obligations were basically my Friday D&D... which I felt at the time was my one ray of light in the week. I felt that I didn't want to just disappear with them thinking I was disinterested or something.

So I told my friends the truth, because my real-life deception score is pretty poor. And they leapt into action. The following week while I waited for a bed was spent taking me to the beach, giving me ice cream, taking me out for coffee, feeding me all kinds of fattening things, and just giving me something I didn't have up to that point (or that I didn't know I had): Social support.

It took a week and a half for a bed to be available at the mental health place... and that time was enough for me to get back on my feet. Yes, I was still in distress. No, it would take a long time for me to recover completely (years, in fact). But the immediate "I want to die right now" storm had passed. So when the bed was finally available, I declined going. 

I will be honest and say part of me wouldn't want to go there because I was raised in a world where mental health was tremendously stigmatised. But I am grateful that I (1) had the opportunity to go if I needed to and (2) was okay enough to decline the opportunity.

So why did I decide to share all this? Because today, 10 October, is World Mental Health Day and the best way to help sometimes is raising awareness, by being a bit more open than we usually are.

40th Mischief and 50th session

Last week I celebrated my 40th bday. It went as gracefully (if not more gracefully) than my 30th and for that I am grateful. Birthdays are always tricky affairs, but my day went really well with the exception of one slight thing. So I can't complain.

My birthday week involved travelling about 10 hours in total by car by me onesy as I headed from Gqeberha to Mossel Bay and back. 

Once I got to Mossel Bay, I spent approximately three-and-a-half hours by a very talented tattoo artist who put a picture on my shoulder that we had been collaborating on for about a couple of months. This is a significant move for me. I don't put any tattoos on my skin if there isn't some kind of detailed significance to the act. My first was in mourning. This one was in celebration of something that has helped keep me sane and stable - namely TTRPGs.

The tattoo is that of a (cutesy) dragon in flight, grasping a 20-sided die in its front paws - presumably to add it to its hoard. I've named the dragon Mischief and I don't have a picture of it in a fully healed state, so I will share the pic we took on the day of inking.

Once Mischief is fully healed, I might make it the profile pic to this blog.

To celebrate my closer proximity to hagdom, I spent most of this past weekend playing D&D. I had two TNO (my homebrew) sessions - one with the SA+ crew on Friday and the other with the North Americans on Sunday morning. I had a D&D game I play in on Saturday where I got to draw from the Deck of Many Things, got one of the best cards (it gives you wishes), and almost immediately used a wish on the DM at an unexpected time... So that was fun. 

The Friday game was particularly significant as it was our 50th session playing TNO. I've babbled about my homebrew at length on this blog so I won't go too much into it now, but it is still remarkable that a game I thought was going to die six sessions in has lasted as long as it has and isn't even remotely close to a conclusion. New places, new challenges, new people, and new character progression levels means that there's always something that can happen to keep things from being stale. Or at least I hope so. 😛

Me, tabletop roleplaying, and D&D - A(n almost) ten-year journey

This year marks a couple of memorable milestones for me. I was an '84 baby, so that means 40 is knock, knock, knocking on my door. It's been ten years since my gran passed away, someone who was very much the angel on my shoulder. And it's also been ten years since I got pulled into the tabletop roleplaying scene - specifically with the drug that is Dungeons & Dragons.

Back in 2014, we were still stumbling through the new basic rules of D&D 5e (or D&D Next as it was known at the time). My first game was a oneshot in which was an almost TPK - prevented only because I turned around after my peeps dropped and ran screaming into the woods. While their gold-covered skeletons shambled through the corrupted temple in the end, I found myself very much hooked to the game and the encounter still remains one of the fond memories I keep in my memory bag of holding.

Pugmire

Through the ten years, I played in many adventures and campaigns. Official ones like Hoard of the
Dragon Queen and Waterdeep: Dragon Heist, and homebrewed creations that opened up the possibility for me to create my own story when I finally took to DMing myself. My first forays into being a DM (or GM when not running D&D) was cautious affairs full of planning and anxiety. 

In that time, I introduced my group to Pugmire - a D&D-esque game full of elevated and enlightened dogs and cats trying to find sense in a medieval-type world. I also stumbled over Fantasy AGE - which is also a really fun system - and brought that to the gaming table. There were a couple of failed attempts at Masks: A New Generation but that was mostly because I couldn't figure out how it worked... I still love the game but I haven't figured it out....

Then the pandemic hit and my gaming increased massively as online and work-from-home made connection in a disconnected world more possible and the introvert in me thrived despite the raging anxiety that the whole situation brought. I actually started playing too much, had too many connections and had to tone down my gaming to keep a balanced lifestyle (and an okayish sleep cycle).

The ten years were marked with some very low moments, but what I can say without a shadow of a doubt is that TTRPGs can be amazing for mental health provided you find the right group of people. I started with a 'right group' and accumulated more peeps as the years went on, which means that the impact it has had on my emotional wellbeing has been enormous. 

Me telling the peeps what's what at Game Over Cyberfest 

We have little over a month until my birthday. I have special things planned on the day and will probably celebrate the weekend by playing an enormous amount of D&D. It seems fitting...

DM-ing at Game Over Gaming: Here we go again!

I got a phone call today. I didn't recognise the number and, fearing some kind of scammer or bot or whatnot, I answered the phone without speaking. Because in this day and age, that's apparently what you're supposed to do. After an awkward 'uh hello?' from the other side of the phone, I realised I was speaking to the human variety and it didn't sound like a call centre. What can I say? I'm not used to being called by people who don't want my money.

The conversation was brief, but to the point. Game Over Gaming is having another event in March and they want me to come to Glentana and do the DM-ing thing again. Seeing as I have something already prepped sorta, I said yes and we discussed the details a bit. It might be streamed again, I'm not sure. But regardless, it should be interesting. Glentana was rather pretty the last time I went - migraine and all. 

They're promising everything that was the previous festival but bigger, grander, geekier. There's going to be multiple DMs running tables, more space for PC gaming (which I still won't partake in... I'm afraid of dropping my computer somewhere along the way and I'm very attached to it...), more in the line of cosplay, more comics and other geeky-related stuff. 

I'll babble more about it as I get more info... or maybe after the fact haha. For now, I figure it's worth noting on this little blog.

Curse! Splat!

So I know this isn't a life blog, but the fun has to be documented somewhere and it influences my future geekiness.

It's almost a week into nanowrimo and it's already very quickly going to pot. I can still catch up - if I can write 15 000 words in one day to win like I did a couple of years ago, anything is possible. So I'm not going to say that I'm giving up on nanowrimo just yet, but it's going to the backburner while I recover a bit more karma.

Now, those who know me should be aware that I don't actually believe in luck or karma or stuff like that. But just because I don't believe in them don't mean they're not going to screw up my circumstances right good. 

Last Friday I had courier package trouble, then got home late, and found a pigeon in the kitchen which promptly shat on my head. On Saturday, I rolled so poorly on Roll20 that people were suggesting I roll with actual dice (which I could have fudged the rolls for) because clearly digital dice hate me. 

And then came Sunday. Beautiful, beautiful Sunday.

I had an Arkham Horror date with friends. First, I overslept. Then I got the car out of the garage to discover the tyre is flat. Then I tried to move the car to find the battery was giving issues and not letting me restart the car.

Joyous.

So I put on my big-girl pants and changed the tyre while my mom coordinated with a neighbour to give me a jump start. And then we discovered that one of my mom's friends had "borrowed" my jumper cables without asking me. I was livid. But, long story short: tyre got changed successfully (yay), jumper cables were returned (yay), car got jumped (yay), and off I raced to go play a card game (yay) in which we died (well..... shit).

I would like to say yesterday wasn't a train smash but I'd be lying. Continued car trouble, evil meetings, poor conflict resolution, it had the makings of a disastrous day and it delivered.

And then we have today. I'm honestly terrified what today is going to bring.

All of which is to say, nanowrimo is the furthest from my mind right now. I had dnd games to prep, life's crash helmet to fasten, and just general work mayhem to navigate.

So what about streaming? I'm going to try to keep the Wednesday weekly stream going. Instead of doing nanowrimo like I did last time, I'm just going to play games. It'll be fun, relaxing, and not nearly as exhausting as trying to pull words out of thin air.

That's the hope anyway.

D&D Homebrew Babble: What's happening with the Saffas?

So let's start with:

 Update: I'm alive!

Not much happening on the life front. I'm still trying to save up for a big trip next year. Still waiting for answers on said trip. Still getting ever nervous as the days fly by and the deadline for buying my tickets nears (still months away but that's not going to stop me from panicking).

To escape the continuous waves of panic that the above inflicts upon me, I dive deep into the depths of procrastination (via computer gaming) or escape (via D&D). It's been about 9 months since I rambled about my homebrew, so I figured I could do that today.

First thing: There are now multiple groups romping through my world.

Okay this isn't a new thing. We had the South African group (which is still going strong after 31 sessions!), then we had the British group (square peg, round hole lasting only like 10 sessions, if that? I can't remember), and now I have a multi-national group that I've just finished session zero with. The latter will be gathering only once a month, but I'm hopeful it's going to go well and will be memorable enough that the gap in between games will not be too distracting. I also think I have also selected the group well enough that there won't be any issues and we're introducing a few new things that I'm excited about - not new to the story, but new to the gaming dynamic. One is basically a mechanism to allow ongoing feedback for everybody and the other is a mechanism to bring roleplay forward on matters that won't necessarily be tackled in game.

So that's rather cool.

Second thing: I'm a horrible DM. 

Well, debatable. But I took about eight months before levelling up the South Africans to level eight. This was due to a mixture of reasons: We hadn't gathered more frequently, they were taking their time through my world (can't complain about that), and so were not really hitting any big milestones.

With that said, I'm happy with the progress they're making. There's a self-motivated engine that's running the show and it's not coming from me as powerfully as from them. They want their characters to achieve things and they want to know what's going to happen next. Which is nice. It makes me happy.

Third thing: I'm still stressed and anxious.

I struggle a lot with perfectionism and performance anxiety. (well, actually all kinds of anxiety, but this one is relevant for this situation :P)

I don't know if I'll ever shake the trepidation that dogs me when it comes to running a self-made game especially, but so far I've been having good days and bad days. Bad days involved medication and a power nap which makes me feel awesome... so I guess they're not terrible days. Good days involves me sitting in disbelief thinking "how on earth did we end up here?"

So even though I'm stressed and anxious about stuff, I'm pretty grateful too. I'm happy with what's going on with this group and happy to have them.

D&D Babble: Sometimes wonderful, unexpected things happen.

As anyone who plays D&D - or any TTRPG for that matter - could tell you, the game is unpredictable and surprising. Most often in delightful ways. But my babble today and the title thereof comes from outside of the table.

For the past near-on-a-year, I've been playing D&D with a group of people on alternating Saturdays who're living predominantly on the North American coast. I got pulled into the discord server and the first thing I saw was the sheer amount of people connected to this dungeon master and went *gulp*. The gentleman in question has multiple games running throughout the week, all set within his world, all containing different people playing characters in this world which becomes influenced by their actions. It's a beautiful thing to see. 

And what is happening is also kinda rare in that his homebrew story is coming to a spectacular conclusion. The goodies are fighting the baddies and the odds are stacked against success, but they still fight and may just succeed and each player involved in the story is deeply invested.

From a DM-ing perspective, it's inspiring because it takes one helluva story and one amazing DM to garner such devotion. These are people who have busy lives and yet they make the time because they're captured by the unfolding story.

My Saturday games are detached from the events, but I'd have to be blind not to see the excitement of the other groups on a near-daily basis as things slowly come to a head.

And then the unexpected happened:

"Hey! Got a sec?" the DM asks me after our game. "I was wondering if you would be my second DM for the epic?"

...

......

..........

!

My brain stops functioning for a time as I try to absorb the enormity of the suggestion. At first I wonder whether he got the right person. Maybe he was meaning to talk to someone else. I mean his channel has over 60 people and mistakes happen.

Then I finally understood what Troy Baker felt when he got to the audition for the Joker in the Batman: Arkham Origins and, not knowing what he was there to audition for, spotted the dialogue that was undoubtedly from the Joker himself and went, "Oh God."

I composed myself, admirably, and accepted the honour with as much gravitas as I could muster.

Since then, I've been battling with brain goblins on a daily basis - much like I did when I took the Glentana gig. The emotional pendulum is swinging from glee to horror at a somewhat rapid pace. In many ways this is a bigger step for me than DM-ing in Glentana, because Harlen's shoes are fucking massive. And I will not be leading newbies. These are veteran players at a level of gaming and roleplaying that I have not necessarily encountered before. I'm used to sitting at the feet of experienced players. Sitting at the head of the table is going to be a challenge.

But it is a challenge I'm willing to take on and am taking on. I've already started prepping by printing out materials and making notes. Harlen has been awesome in supplying all the details, setting up everything, and making me feel as comfortable as possible.

My goal is a simple task, but I feel an enormously crucial one: As we come to the end of the story, make the conclusion worth the journey.

*cough* In other words, don't be a Mass Effect 3 *cough*

And I think I can do that. 

I'm going to absorb as much as I can. I'm going to forget myself, step out of my goblin-infested mind, and just present the best story I can for people who deserve their long and arduous journey to have a fulfilling end.

2022 in retrospect

...

I find myself a little conflicted.

I don't know about you, but the last day of a year always has me very reflective and I can't decide where on the scale between fabulous and god-awful 2022 lands.

It was a year of firsts.

• First time streaming.
• First time running a dnd game at a gaming convention for strangers.
• First time a judge told me to go sit outside in the corridor like a schoolchild. 

A lot of good things happened during the year. My best friend got an amazing, life-altering new job. I committed myself financially to visiting Canada in 2024. I feel more confident in myself. Made a new friend who has already impacted on me quite a bit. (No relationships, of course. Still allergic.).

But my anxiety has never been as bad as it has been this year.

So, as 2022 leaves my periphery in six hours, I suppose the best I can do is to focus on the new year, taking the best of this year and just kicking the rest on its ass.

2023 will have some nice things lined up. I will be streaming more, hopefully. I'll have better internet, hopefully. More D&D shall be played, hopefully... 

And I'll be playing some more Grounded, DEFINITELY!

Geeky Babble: Fun at Con.ect 2022

Con.ect is a geek convention held in Gqeberha, South Africa almost annually. I say almost because this year was the first time since the pandemic that the convention was held. It was down-scaled somewhat with it being held only on one day (as opposed to the usual two), but up-scaled in terms of the variety of things that were going on. They had their first LAN arrangement, which was an interesting development. They also had an actual play D&D session running in another room... Which is a little strange for me, but I'm happy for the TTRPG exposure it offers. Beyond that, they had the standard geeky fare: stalls, geek quiz, cosplay, some demos, etc.

Every year, I save a small, monthly amount in a little money jar for the convention. With the pandemic, that amount grew a bit more than usual, yay. Tradition holds that I buy at least one set of dice at the convention. That tradition was broken as no one was selling dice. My mom, who usually gives me grief about my dice buying, noticed this lack before I did. She proceeded to give some stalls a hard time for this lack. They took it good naturedly - especially the book sellers who never have dice to sell to begin with, but did have some board games on display. (Sorry, Bargain Books!) I directed her to the right stall to exert her customerly annoyance at and the dude simply shrugged. Apparently they didn't have stock in so they didn't bring... A bit weird, but okay.

So instead, I bought myself something else.

My mom decided to get some things. I tried to buy a hat, my head was too big for it. I thought of buying a plushie bat but decided I'll try to win the raffle first and then maybe bug the lady later if I wasn't successful. We bought very nice chocolate croissants, then left the convention to stop at a food place for a nice meal.  

In the end, I'd call that a successful outing. 

Life FYI

So it's been a while since I posted anything.

I'm still planning on babbling about TTRPG stuffs. Honestly? I haven't had the energy for anything that requires real thinking. The past couple of weeks have been... bad. Major setbacks, outright failures, that kind of thing. It's difficult to adjust to a reality you were dreading but kinda knew was coming.

Then our government stumbled and bumbled and turned off our power.

That and the burnout bug bit me again. 

Bah.

Anyhoo, speaking of bugs, Grounded is out of early access and on Microsoft Game Pass. It's delightful. I scream a whole lot less now but it doesn't mean the game isn't any less fun!

Feedback on Game Over Gaming Cyberfestival - D&D game

So I did it. I faced my fears, drove all the way to Glentana and ran a D&D session with a group of awesome people who were so hungry and eager for a game that they even thought I was awesome. :-P

 

Not everything went according to plan. I think I might have mentioned it before somewhere that Game Over Gaming is still something that's in its infancy. So there were a number of logistical things that didn't quite go right, but everyone pitched in and made it awesome anyway. I also ended up dealing with my first migraine in years. It was so potent that I couldn't go into the main venue without my head wanting to explode.

With all that said, it went really well. Friendships were formed, dice were rolled, with a Natural 20 being one of them. Very very potent stuff. I also had some awesome friends who popped onto Twitch to say hi and roast me good and proper. Unfortunately, so good and proper that the stream died and never really recovered despite attempts to get it going. Even my mom got to watch. :)

I have been invited to DM at the next event which will be in October at a high school in George. This will allow for more people to attend. I'm also going to attempt to rope in another DM to so that we'll have two D&D tables as what happened with mine is that people started watching in on the sidelines. They had shunned the notion initially, but then got to see how much fun we were having and you got the feeling that there might have been a desire to join in. Also the whole word-of-mouth thing will probably secure us more people. So yeah. There are plans.

DM babble - The lead up to an interesting weekend.

 So if you follow my Twitter account, this information will not be new.

On 8 March, I got an interesting whatsapp message. An organiser to Game Over Gaming's April Convention was in need of a DM to run a D&D game at their convention. Their go-to DM moved his ass to Cape Town and so they were short... and probably desperate. Why? Because they contacted ME and asked ME to run a game. 

I was astounded, confused, flattered, and immediately anxiety ridden. I had a chat with Tabi and she asked me what was my hesitation and I said, truthfully fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of messing up. Just fear. 

Having that pointed out meant that my pride immediately demanded that I accept the challenge. 

So on 1 April, I'll be taking the (approximately) four-hour trip from Port Elizabeth (Gqeberha) to Glentana to meet up with the peeps at Game Over Gaming convention and run a D&D game on the Saturday, 2 April at 14:00 GMT+2. For this session, I expect six players ranging from absolute brand new to seasoned and have been given a maximum 5 hours to complete the one-shot I have prepared for them. And, to add to the fun, the session is going to be streamed on Twitch.

No pressure, right?

With but a few days to go, I can say I'm basically completely prepped, printed, and assembled. I'm also still terrified, but as someone who deals with permanent anxiety, I suppose one could say this is my default state. 

I figure I should break up my fears into conquerable challenges.

1. The trip to Glentana by myself.
2. Stranger danger
3. Spending the night in a place I don't know
4. Stranger danger 
5. D&D madness!
6. Why the hell is that camera doing pointed at me?
7. Stranger danger :-P
8. The second night on my own, tired and stressed, but relieved it's over.
9. Heading home by me onesy.

I know, I know, my brain is making this a much bigger thing than it is. Especially the stranger danger... But I also know that I can manage it. 

...I just need to remember to pack my courage along with my dice...

Life FYI, Gaming babble, Random babble

It's been over a month since I've last posted anything. Let's see what's happened. 

Life. 

Life did.

So since this isn't really a life blog, I won't go to deeply into it. It involves lawyers and affidavits; plumbing and electrical issues; car issues; and the ever increasing worry of not stretching my finances too far.

But that last one is a worry I know I share with millions of other people. So meh.

In response to life being a bastard, I've done my level best to dodge it by escaping into games and D&D. That's been going well. I spent nearly 80 hours on Icarus till I grew slightly weary of it, played some Valheim and Satisfactory as well. And of course Grounded - new patch! Yay! Baldur's Gate III is a game I've seen about 30 minutes of and it looked promising - I'm hoping to play more of it soon.

With D&D, I've been running two games of Dragon Heist, both going well. I'm running Wild Beyond the Witchlight with the Brits and... well they seem to be enjoying it. I'm still struggling with it. It's so whimsy yet so dark at the same time. I'll probably babble about it at some point solo. Give some kind of review for it.

And then there's the homebrew, every second Friday with the South Africans. That has been going really, really well. Better than I could have hoped for. We've finished a big section I never intended to become a big section (haha) and it was strong story wise and I managed to get one of my two challenging players on board with plans on roping the second one in better soon. I should probably babble about this one solo too.

So I guess I could say I'm okay. Not fantastic, not wonderful, not optimistic, energised, nor determined. But okay. I haven't been gnawing at my wrists yet, but the only time my hands don't shake from anxiety is when I'm sleeping (I think. This hasn't been observed :P).

And I think, given life at present, I can't ask for more than that. Well, I could, but *shrugs*.

New Beginnings - kinda sorta

It has happened. It took over a year of advertisements, but I've managed to sell my Royal Enfield Classic 500.  

It's a little depressing. I paid so much for the motorcycle and, five years later, only managed to sell it for a fraction of the initial price. But I did end up selling it to a lady who is passionate about the motorcycle and is already working feverishly on it. So at least it's going to a good home.

I'm doing something epic with the funds received. After 6 years, I'm getting myself a new gaming PC.

I'm both excited and terrified at this venture. The last time I bought myself a gaming PC was just after those mofos cleaned out my house. Getting a computer was a matter of necessity to me and I had some funds available along with the insurance, but I was still rather limited. This time I wasn't as limited. The specs are insane, but again, it has to last another six or seven years before I'd even consider an upgrade let alone a new build altogether.

So what am I going to play on the new PC? I have a few ideas... I might babble about them as I play. Should give me something to write about.

DM Babble: Feel the burn

Just an update with no real message.

It's nearing December... and I'm pooped. This year has been insane, with lots of people drama (weren't I avoiding them?), work drama (ugh, work), law drama (I'm still waiting for the bill, eek), and just general mayhem.

To date, I've run 54 RPG sessions in 2021 (of which the majority was DnD). A little under half of those were sessions having to with my homebrew. 

Okay, so what's the point? The point is that I might have burnt myself out. The past couple of weeks have been rough creatively as well. Usually I'd be doing nanowrimo (see my previous posts about the joyous insanity) but I just couldn't get myself to do much of anything this year.

So instead of continuing this uphill run while on fire, I'm doing what I can to become unpooped. 

I've stopped running the homebrew with the Brits. I just realised it was a square peg in a round hole scenario (I might post about it later). I've been running Starforged with them, but that's not really working as spectacularly as I would have hoped. I might run something else with them in January. I've begun reading (and yes, prepping) The Wild beyond the Witchlight and it might be a much better fit. 

I'm halting the homebrew with the South Africans in December for the month just to take a break. It's been going really, really well, but I'm running on empty. And I found that it begins bleeding into the game. 

That leaves me with two groups of Dragon Heist. One might not play in December because they have social lives (weirdos), which leaves me with one group. And I love Dragon Heist, I've done it so many times that prep is a breeze, so I think that's going to be okay. 

I wouldn't have thought that 2021 was going to be 'worse' than 2020, but in some ways it has been and I find that I'm basically in disaster recovery mode. I've never had burnout. Been close, but I'm also aware that my depression mimics a lot of the symptoms. Now I know it is burnout. Even writing this post was somewhat exhausting. 

Hopefully I'll be able to report better things in January.

From Text to Speech: On (possible) new adventures

First a bit of a reflection on this year. I'm in a very fortunate, even privileged position, where I wasn't in danger of losing my job like so many other people were. I had some stress as my contract was in need of renewal, but in comparison to the devastation 2020 has sowed on many people, I really can't complain. I was also able to work from home and, as an introvert, found the distance from people quite delightful.

That being said, I did take some strain and found myself in need of escape. And in that, I clearly wasn't the only one. For one thing, the online D&D community skyrocketed as more people were forced to find alternative means of playing the game. What was a fun little hobby became an absolutely necessary escape as the year continued to spiral out of control.

In my case, my gaming days increased dramatically. Pre-Covid, I was already playing two sessions a week. Then I got invited to play with a group of North Americans over the weekends, increasing my sessions to four a week and probably damaging my sleep schedule irreparably. Time zones suck, but technology closes distances dramatically. People I mostly spoke to over text for years have now become almost household acquaintances. Programmes like Zoom and Marco Polo has really helped cross boundaries that previously seemed impenetrable. 

And then a new opportunity arose. One I hadn't previously considered. I was invited by the North Americans to join a recorded D&D game which is to be released via podcast in the very near future. I was nervous, naturally, but delighted. As a Christmas gift, I received the means to make it an actual option: a podcasting microphone kit. And so, I stepped over from text to speech.

This leap is mildly terrifying. English is not my first language, and I've always been more of a writer than a speaker. Also, it brings forth the question: what does my voice add to the conversation? Which is something I never really considered. While I like babbling about the things I love, I never really successfully imparted the aspects of myself that I thought worth considering to a 'community', as it were. There is a certain confidence you need to have which I'm still developing.

That being said, this might be the start of a very interesting, fulfilling journey as those crazy people across the ocean have taken further steps by inviting me to actually guest in their podcast. I'm humbled by this and by their apparent certainty that I will be able to add something constructive and edifying.

When all of this will happen, I'm not sure, but I will definitely keep this blog updated on events as they transpire.

For now, I'm going to plug the podcast, namely Dragons & Flagons and invite you to listen to these four crazy people discuss things D&D.